super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
