Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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