i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
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