butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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