Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
