Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
time to smoke my breakfast
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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