Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Less talking, more tequila
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
