I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
