She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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