your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
