TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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