I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
