We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Randomize
