Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
