The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
