apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize