pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
