peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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