He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
