It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
