I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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