So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
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