As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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