He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
