So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
