he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Randomize
