Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
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