is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Randomize
