I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
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I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
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I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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