Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
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I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
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I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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