then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
