summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
