You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
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