he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
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No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
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My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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