So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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