don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
