Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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