just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
