I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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