Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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