It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
