Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
