i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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