Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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