everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
The uberlube is also flammable
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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