omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
