I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
