last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
