You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
