I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
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