I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
