i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
