White coat. Heels.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
