I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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