Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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