i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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